What is Woo Insanity?

A deep (google search) dive into anti-vax culture.

Just a girl, standing in front of a computer screen, trying to navigate and make sense of the world by asking Google things.

Look, some parts of natural homeopathy shouldn’t be scoffed at. Ancient herbal remedies have some merit to them, but we all know a lavender pack on the soles of your feet isn’t going to cure your bronchitis, Karen.

More Than Anti-Vax Culture

Even so, a thriving Anti-Vax and “Natural Remedies” culture has emerged that’s strange, passionate and sometimes downright terrifying, so much so that the World Health Organization (WHO) has listed vaccine hesitancy as one of the top threats to global health.

In fact, Live Science recently published this gem:

“On Dec. 1, an anti-vaccine group called the Crazymothers raised its plea on Twitter and Instagram, asserting that the term anti-vaxxer is ‘derogatory, inflammatory, and marginalizes both women and their experiences.’ In response, many social media users chimed in with their own alternative labels for the group, including ‘plague enthusiasts’, ‘polio fanciers’, ‘pro-disease’ and ‘patient zero.'”

But far from the cute tie-dyed trancekoppie at Earthdance offering you some ginger tea to soothe your hangover tummy, there is a veritable army of mom’s convinced the Coronavirus was caused by 5G radio waves, vaccines cause autism and…drinking aged urine can cure all your ailments?

“Science has become just another voice in the room,” said Dr. Paul A. Offit, an infectious disease expert at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “It has lost its platform. Now, you simply declare your own truth.”

It all sounds a bit ridiculous really- like, are you telling me people actually piss in jars and feed it to their children and cats? Luckily, Google and the Facebook Search bar are my trusty friends and sidekicks in navigating the world, and I now bring you the fruits of my investigation.

SPOILER ALERT – it’s much worse than simply not giving your kid the measles inoculation.

In this modern age we have curators for every type of whim, and DAWI (an acronym for Detox, Anti-Vax and Woo Insanity) is one of them. Aptly named “DAWI 2 : Electric Woogaloo” on Facebook and sporting nearly 25K likes, the page reads like a compendium of cringe and an encyclopedia of a rapid descent into madness and malaise. 

I will save you the nightmare of seeing the most graphic images for your own fragile sanity, but enjoy these while you ponder why the Gods haven’t smote us yet:

Exhibit A

Side note: Yes, ‘orin’ is meant to be ‘urine’ – ‘O’ needs to be a ‘U’ and it’s missing an ‘E’. But I’m thinking it’s not the only thing this person is missing.

Exhibit B

Side note: You’d think with all that extra oxygen to your brain something would click? 

Exhibit C:

Listen South African Atheists, I don’t know how you got caught up in this but you might need to speak to your brethren or ar least check if they need a friend – or some turmeric up their nose. 

The Devil’s Real Name is Tamiflu

But wait, let’s go back a sec- 

The BBC reported on a certain Kayleigh Oakley, a 33-year-old yoga teacher from Newington, Kent, who claims drinking her own pee “has given her relief from a number of long-term health issues, including autoimmune disorder Hashimoto’s thyroid disease, and chronic pain condition fibromyalgia.” I am as shocked as you. 

She says it can reset your immune system, drinks a jar of it every day and even dabs it on her face with cotton wool. I don’t think it’s even necessary  to give a doctor’s quote on why this is a TERRIBLE idea but I will indulge you:

“Urination is one way where our body gets rid of toxic by-products, there is no evidence at all that ingesting these substances has any health benefits. While drinking a small amount of urine is unlikely to be hazardous to your health, there is not enough modern evidence of its efficacy to suggest drinking it is healthy.” – Dr Zubair Ahmed

TOXIC. BY-PRODUCTS. I’m so disgusted I could throw this whole column away. 

Much more worrying is the lack of medical care and assistance given to said children of these moms. DAWI is full of screenshots of mom’s asking their echo chamber for validation for not taking their feverish infant to the ER and generally not treating serious conditions or wounds with ANYTHING except healing crystals and in one case – A DROP OF TURPENTINE ON THE TONGUE. The Devil has a name, and it’s TAMIFLU.

Gee, Ghee? Really? We’ve been doing it all wrong guys: rubbing butter on yourself like you’re a damn toastie will save you from dying of the flu. Not like something like Tamiflu (flu medicine) could you know, help in any way. 

The Anti-Woo Army

These days we don’t look kindly on public ridicule and agree cancel culture sometimes goes too far, but the fact that there’s an army of Anti – Woo people who devote their days to finding, posting and reporting these parents to CPS is a speck of light in this dark, garlic and herb filled tunnel. 

A writer for Vox recently wrote a piece titled How modern parenting culture is driving the anti-vaccination movement. My conclusion? This isn’t a culture. A culture needs some redeeming good qualities. And if it is, it’s a bad one. It’s positively medieval. If you’re a parent and this is your culture I am afraid. We are all afraid. Someone call the plague doctor. 

Read more Guilty Googles here.

Guilty Googles is an anonymous opinion column focusing on tackling social and cultural topics using the angle of a Google search. Sometimes it’s embarrassing, sometimes it’s fascinating, sometimes it’s hilarious. But it’s *always* entertaining.

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